“When it comes do not hold it, do not treasure it as experience. Once it touches you, you will never be the same again. Let that operate and not your greed, your anger or your righteous indignation. It is really quite wild, untamed, and its beauty is not respectable at all.”
-K (Pg 464 in J. Krishnamurthi,a life)
Question: “I have fallen in love but I know there is no future in this relationship. It is a situation I have experienced several times before and I don’t want to get involved again in all that misery and chaos. Yet I am desperately unhappy without his person. How can I get myself out of this state?”
Krishnamurthi: “The loneliness, bleakness, wretchedness you feel without this person you love existed before you fell in love. What you call love is merely stimulation, the temporary covering up of your emptiness. You escaped from loneliness through a person, used this person to cover it up. Your problem is not this relationship but rather it is the problem of your emptiness. Escape is very dangerous, because like some drug, it hides the real problem. It is because you have no love inside you that you continually look for love to fill you from the outside. This lack of love is your loneliness, and when you see the truth of this you will never again try to fill it with things and people from outside. ”
The true love emerges from able to see and experience one’s loneliness and wretchedness and not escape from them. Seeing this and yet appreciating the beauty of life, desire to life, the meaning that grows forms the love towards oneself and other. It means to love to be able to see oneself and not escape from. And so in the capacity of true love, one will only transform and not escape the loneliness, meaninglessness experienced in one’s life. One really faces the real questions and the strength one gains from facing real questions gives rise to capacity to love.